Reviews by Jacob S.

So far this whole night I've just been watching horror movies since it's, you know, Halloween and I was looking for something to watch and I thought not why give this a try? What a complete waste of an hour and 40 minutes of my life. I could have used that time to watch another, most likely better, horror film. This is based on a true story, and whether it's true or not, I didn't buy any of it. I believed it to be as real as Paranormal Activity. Even three years later we still get productions like these, but this is pretty much the bottom of the barrel. I can only think of two or three movies that were worse than this over the course of the past three years.

I guess I should say the only few good things about this movie before I shred it(both in this review and from my mind). I'll admit there were a few good jump scares in the first fifty minutes or so of the movie, but that's about it. There was really only one good performance in this movie and that was from Kyle Gallner, though his performance doesn't do much to save the movie in any way. That's really it as far as the good things go.

As I stated above, there are plenty of jump scares and for a while they kept getting me but, they're so repetitive that by the fifty minute mark I started laughing instead of jumping from my seat. The whole movie itself after the fifty minute mark becomes comical, and is a chore to sit through. The scares evaporate at this point, partly because the movie then turns to trying so solve a mystery that's so uninvolving. Also, the repetitive jump scares and the fact that the filmmakers reveal too much that it's no longer scary.

The special effects are poorly done and are below what's acceptable, it's even below for what was acceptable three years ago. This movie looks like it was made on a budget of about five dollars. The ectoplasam is laughable, the dummies that are suppose to be the dead bodies look fake, the scenes when the walls start to peel are poorly done, and the make-up for the ghosts is not all that impressive or scary.

With the exception of Kyle Gallner the acting is piss poor. Virginia Madsen, who plays the mother, delivers her lines as if she's improvising or trying to so hard keep a straight face. I'd go with the latter and who can blame her? If I had to say some of these lines, I'd probably burst out in laughter as they're unintentionally hilarious. Like almost every haunted house movie, she plays the dumb parent who doesn't believe anything the kids say and then somewhere in the middle or end of the film realizes that they're kids were right and something really is wrong. Of course there is also the typical helpful man in a cloth because what ghost movie would there be without one? This movie just keeps on piling the cliches.

Like every other PG-13 horror movie everything is cut out, there's no gore or nudity which makes this movie more painful to sit through. I'm not sure if gore and nudity would have made this movie better but it would have helped. I'm not saying all PG-13 movies are bad, for example: Insidious and The Woman in Black, but it takes 10 movies like these to find nice surprises like those. Those movies proved they didn't need to scare audiences by spraying copious amount of blood at the audience because they had good acting, smart characters and atmosphere, which this movie lacked. Ha smart characters, this movie should win dumbest family of the year award. Even after they've all had an encounter with the ghosts and get the crap scared out of them do you think they leave? Pack up their bags and get as far away as possible? No, they go back to their rooms and try to sleep it out. These people deserve what they get.

Overall, don't waste your time with this like I did. Even if you're looking for something with cheap jump scares and "Boo!" moments you're better off looking elsewhere. The acting is piss poor, the effects look like they were made with a five dollar budget, the dialogue is unintentionally hilarious, the characters are cliched and stupid, and it's boring. Once I got past the 50 minute mark I was bored, and was wishing this movie would end. It's funny how in the end (SPOILERS if you even care at this point) that the kid burns the bodies and all the pictures because that's what they should have done with this movie in the first place. They should have thrown it in a fire so all those poor souls(like me) didn't waste an hour and forty minutes of their life that they'll never get back on this garbage. I'll certainly burn what I just saw in my mind though, so I can forget about what the hell I just watched. That's the main reason why I decided to type this review as quickly as possible.

If you thought the first movie was a catastrophe, in all things that are holy wait till you see this movie. I didn't think they could possibly top the awfulness of the first movie but they did, if anything the filmmakers deserve an achievement for being able to accomplish what seemed like an impossible task. Luckily for us, this movie made less than half of what it's predecessor made, so there shouldn't be any more of these.

I really have nothing nice to say about this movie other than the effects and stunts are cool. Yep, that's it. Now time to start ripping apart this film. I would try to explain the plot to you but I can't because it makes no sense. It's as if some of the pages of the screenplay were torn out and went missing. I guess that's actually a good thing though, because none of the characters would shut up, they all just kept talking and talking.

The acting is just sad. How could Nick Cage go from an Oscar to starring in steaming pile of shits like these? His performance is no longer amusing, at least it was somewhat funny in the first movie but now this is just pathetic sad. The whole time he sounded like a constipated chicken. I get that he's in financial distress, so whatever screenplay gets thrown at his face he takes. Don't you think that he'd get a good script once in a while? The last good movie he was in was Kick-Ass, and that was two years ago. As for the rest of the cast, the performances are embarrassing. Expect to see a nomination of worst cast ensemble at the razzies. Also, Idris Elba, what are you doing in this movie? You're actually a good actor, the only explanation that I can think of is that you needed to refresh your bank account or pay the bills because how can anyone read the script and not think that it's garbage?

The worst of all is that this movie is just boring. There's hardly any action, though there is a car Chase with Satan, which is the first. Whatever little action there is, it's not exciting. This is the kind of movie that I would watch if I couldn't fall asleep. Sadly though, I stayed awake through the whole thing, envying my dad who was asleep and snoring next to me. Now that I think about it, don't listen to me about what I said earlier, about seeing how bad this movie is for yourself, unless you feel like signing your soul over to the devil.

Overall, definitely one of the worst movies of the year. I expect many razzie nominations. The effects are cool but that's about it and is definitely not enough to save this movie. The acting is atrocious, the plot makes no sense, and this movie is just boring. It's funny how the main character's head explodes into a flaming skull at inopportune moments because that's what my head felt like it was going to do if I had to endure another minute of this shit.

I've heard good things about this movie and I love Rebel Wilson so I decided to give this movie a shot. I can honestly say that I did not expect to enjoy this as much as I did, and I know that sounds cliched, but I can't put it into any other words. I came out of the theater with a huge smile on my face which, is something of a rarity for me when it comes to formulaic movies such as this.

There aren't really any issues that I had with this film. Sure it's as I stated above, formulaic and predictable but, it's such a fun ride that I didn't really give a Crap. The only other thing was the vomiting. I don't normally care about it if it's relevant in some way but this was just used for shock value. Though, I must admit it was funny the first time because it was so unexpected, but the second time, not so much. I guess this movie does have to appeal to everyone though. Other than those things this movie is a real riot.

As much as I loved Bridesmaids last year, this movie was funnier and it was funny from the beginning to the end, whereas Bridesmaid was only sporadically funny, to me anyways. Every joke works with the exception of the vomiting. The best lines came from Rebel Wilson, obviously, Elizabeth Banks, and John Higgins. That's not to say that all the funny lines are from them, but a majority of them are.

The performances are solid across the board. This isn't Anna Kendrick's best movie, that honor belongs to both 50/50 and Up In The Air. However, this is a nice and respectable edition to her resume. I applaud her for trying to step out of those dark comedy type movies, and she doesn't disappoint here. She gives a good performance and has nice chemistry with Skylar Aston, who also gives a good performance. The chemistry didn't feel forced at all and I liked them as a couple which, is an achievement if a movie can make me feel that way about a couple.

Ever since Bridesmaid, I think I've fallen in love with Rebel Wilson. Lesibionest here, the woman is hysterical. Her delivery and tone is perfect, she is the heart of the comedy. Elizabeth Banks and John Higgins play these commentators and they are almost as equally hysterical. I'm not sure how anyone could keep a straight face with these three around. They remind me of the commentators from Dodgeball. If you found those two guys from that movie hilarious you'll most like find Banks and Higgins hilarious, it's the same type of comedy. The rest of the cast is funny too but like I said, almost all of the humor comes from these three.

The singing is top notch, and the movie really comes alive during the on stage performances. That doesn't mean that the other parts of the movie weren't as equally enjoyable but, I was tapping my feet during the performances. The song choices were good, there's a little something for everyone and I much prefer these covers than glee(sorry glee fans).

Overall, Pitch Perfect hits almost every note perfectly. Sure it's predictable and it's nothing new but, the performances are solid, it's hilarious from beginning to end, and the live performances are toe tapping fun. I guarantee when the final battle comes along you'll be tapping your feet. This is such a fun movie and I guarantee you'll walk out of the theater feeling good inside. This is what Joyful Noise that came out back in January tried to be, but failed.

Like Contraband, this is better than what you'd expect from a January release but, that doesn't excuse the movie's problems. The premise is intriguing, and that's why I wanted to check this movie out for myself even though it got such negative reviews. It's not as bad as the reviews lead you to believe, but had this movie been better executed, it would have been a winner.

I'll admit, the movie was enjoyable and pretty good up until the end. The ending is not The Devil Inside bad, but it's as if the filmmakers didn't know how to end everything. It didn't fit with the movie's overall tone, and left a few things unresolved. There was a lack of suspense. Not once was I on the edge of my seat or biting my nails. I cared more about the secondary characters than the main character himself. Part of it was because he wasn't that developed, so I could care less, and also, Sam Worthington's dull performance didn't bring much life into the character that it desperately needed. With all these downs there are an equal amount of ups.

I liked the premise, it was interesting and a little different, despite it not being executed well. Sure there wasn't much suspense but, the movie was fun and entertaining up until the last ten minutes or so. The cast, besides Worthington, was good. The two that stuck out the most were Jamie King and Genesis Rodriguez. All the funniest lines came from these two, and they were the only two people I cared about. They made mistakes that normal human beings would, and though they would have great ideas, they didn't always execute them perfectly. These two were probably the best thing about the movie.

The dialogue wasn't really anything special but it wasn't bad either. The story and plot are completely ridiculous and somewhat bring this movie down. I mean, no shit this is a movie but this isn't a fantasy either, nothing like this would ever happen in real life. Some of the things that happen in this movie are completely preposterous and takes away from the movie a bit. There was no real sense of danger, obviously that's a result from the lack of suspense but I never feared for the guy and you can pretty much predict what's going to happen from the get go. Which makes this whole movie seem pretty pointless.

Overall, the nice secondary characters, the good acting(with the exception of Worthington), particularly from Jamkie King and Genesis Rodriguez, and the intriguing premise ultimately save this movie from being a total crapfest. If you truly have nothing to do then this wouldn't be a bad thing to pass the time, but other than that it's really not worth pursuing due to the lack of suspense, implausible plotlines, and a pretty disappointing ending.

This is pretty much your typical mediocre movie that comes out in January. It's cliched and corny, but there are some nice things in this movie that I liked. Had it not been for a few nice performances and the singing this certainly would have been one of the year's worst so far.

This movie is called Joyful Noise, but I wouldn't exactly call the whole movie that. Many other adjectives come to mind than just joyful, but I don't want to bash the movie completely because I did like certain things, I'll get to those later though. This movie was mostly talk than singing, had the filmmakers reversed that, this would have fully been an enjoyable movie. Sadly this is only moderately entertaining, at least to me it was. They also could have trimmed the running time down by at least 20 minutes. There is nothing here that warrants two hours of screen time. There are a few subplots that they could have done away with. Like the relationship between Keke Plamer and Jeremy Jordan. These two had no chemistry whatsoever so it was hard to believe the relationship between them at all, I didn't buy any of it. Also, the subplot between Keke and her father. Had they maybe delve into this a little more, it would have worked but it came off as a little pointless to me.

So I know that I was bashing this movie a little but there were things that I liked. The movie really came alive when someone or the choir would start singing. There was a lot of energy in these performances and it showed. The performances were pretty good, but three people really shined. Queen Latifah, Dolly Parton, and Jeremy Jordan. All the funny lines come from these three. The chemistry between Latifah and Parton elevated this movie a bit. Their bickering was hilarious some of the best lines come from them. Even though the relationship between Palmer's character and Jordan's character was Crap. The guy still gave a pretty good performance. Like Latifah and Parton, some of the funniest lines came from him.

Overall, this is cliched, corny, too long, and filled with subplots that could have been done away with. The singing, humor, and performances ultimately save this movie and elevate it a bit from your typical January junk, though not by much. I wouldn't say this is a must see but if you have nothing to do on a Friday night, this isn't a bad option.

This review contains no spoilers, so you don't need to worry. The trailer for this movie gives the wrong impression. Yes there's plenty of action and violence blended in with Sci-fi elements, but it's more than that. This is a thought-provoking, original piece of work. Sure there are some influences, the biggest one seems to be Terminator, but this is as close to original as you can get in this day in age. I would like to also put out that, as I said there's plenty of action, but the movie at some points slows down. These scenes are just characters talking but they were never boring to me, but they might be to you. Half of the movie takes place on a farm but, like I said I was never bored.

I have nothing bad to say about this movie. The plot and story are rich and thought-provoking. For example: If you could go back in time to kill baby Hitler would you? The screenplay is extremely well done and thought out. Sure there are some minor flaws within the time travel aspect(I can list a few but that could potentially spoil things) but that's the case with every movie about time travel. Johnson does a terrific job at plugging in most of these holes and this is probably the best and well thought out movie about time travel.

Now if time travel did exist would it be something like this? Probably not but Johnson does such a good job at explaining everything that he makes us believe it, and he never breaks his own rules. You have to really pay attention to everything or else you might miss something and get lost, sort of like Inception. This is nothing like Inception by the way so those who are comparing this movie to that one are wrong.

The acting in this more is terrific, but I'm sure none of these performances will get recognition from the academy which is a dam shame. Over the past couple of years Joseph Gordon-Levitt has slowly become one of the best actors working today. His performance is amazing, his impression of Bruce Willis is spot on from his facial expressions to the way he speaks he nailed it, and even though his face is covered in prosthetics he is still able to convey emotion and act. Bruce Willis is back between Expendable Two, Moonrise Kingdom and now Looper. I hope he picks these kinds of movies in the near future. He doesn't just kick was in this movie but he also proves that he's got the chops. One scene in particular, he is crying because of the terrible thing he did and even though I hated what he did I couldn't help but feel sorry for him during that scene. You'll know when you see it. Emily Blunt is great as well, I'm surprised not that many people actually mentioned her, without her the movie wouldn't have been the same. The kid is also great, he certainly has potential. He provided some humorous scenes that the film needed. The guy who plays the main person in charge of the Looper did a great job too.

There really is no hero, everyone is the antihero which was a nice change as you don't often see that in movies and just adds to the freshness. The romance between Blunt and Levitt was nice, they both displayed a nice degree of chemistry. I really liked them as a couple even though they're both terrible people(I'd mention a few other things but I don't want to ruin anything). The ending to this film is brilliant, it has a lot of deep meaning behind it even though I'm sure people hated it. There's a reason why the director did this and if only people would look at the meaning behind it.

This is as perfect of a movie about time travel as you're going to get. I loved everything about it. Sure you can pick away at some of the flaws within the time travel but what's the point? Every movie about time travel has some flaws within time travel. The strong script, outstanding performances, fleshed out characters, and the rich/original plot make this the best one. Johnson did a brilliant job at closing as many of the flaws as he could. This is one of the best films of the year, it's thought-provoking and original. This movie is still on my mind and though this won't alter my life in any way I'm glad I got to see it.

This came as a bit of a surprise to me as you almost never find a movie as good as this in January. I realize that critics clearly enjoyed this more then people which should say something. That this movie was marketed as something completely different then it truly was. I realize this is the case with all of the director's work. The same thing happened with Contagion and Magic Mike which I both liked very much. So if you ever plan on seeing this movie, don't believe what the trailer tells you.

This is a very odd film. Yes it's an action film but it's different than what you're use to, which is why so many people disliked it. I can't explain it but it's just different and I'll admit, it did bother me too. The music does not fit the movie at all. I'm not sure what the director was trying to do here but 90% of the music was this weird 70's jazz music that you would find in a spy movie from that period. Whatever the case, it was annoying and sometimes took me out of the movie. These were really the only things that bothered me. I mean the director choose to shoot the movie in a variety of ways, some shots work, others don't, but it didn't bother me much. It might be off-putting to some of you though and that's one example in which I said earlier that this movie is different. It's not shot in a way your typical action movie is. So despite those problems I enjoyed everything else.

The action is fantastic, it's very well choreographed. There's no music accompanying the action scenes which make them seem more realistic and thus, another example of how this is different from your typical action film. The story is nothing new, this is after all a revenge flick, but the director adds enough of his visual flair and fresh ideas to make this movie stand above your typical revenge flick.

The cast is solid and for a first time performance Gina Carano was not bad. Was it a terrific performance? No, but she has potential. She would make a good Wonder Woman but that's just me. I hope she gets more roles because watching her kick ass was definitely worth the price of admission. The other person worth noting is Channing Tatum. This has been a good year for him in both in terms of box office and career. Now, I haven't seen The Vow and I don't have any intentions of seeing it anytime soon, but he has definitely reversed my opinion of him. With this, 21 Jump Street, and Magic Mike, I can't believe I'm saying this but, he can act. I hope now he decides to pick smart scripts and make smart choices because he has finally proven(it's been like what 6 years?) that he's got the chops.

Overall, a nice surprise since normally January is considered a dumping ground as a majority of the films are Hollywood rejects. This is another great movie from a great director who has been having a good year himself with this, Magic Mike, and last year's Contagion, he's slowly becoming one of my favorite directors. Sure this movie is very different, the music doesn't fit it at all, there's no music during the fight scenes, and some of the shots work better than others. However, the action is nice choreographed a nice-shot, no shaky-cam, the cast gives solid performances and how could you not find Gina Carano kicking ass not exciting or hot?

This is what you call your typical January junk. We usually get one or two of these productions every January. I have never seen any of the Underworld movies prior to this one, I've only caught parts of them on tv. After seeing this movie, I don't think it really matters if you've never seen any of them. They give a 2 minute summary of what happened in the previous installments and then goes it's own. direction.

Even though I've never seen any of the previous installments, based on the 2 minute recap in the beginning of this movie and the parts I've seen on TV of the other movies this movie seems like it has nothing to do with the franchise at all. I guess that explains why I was never lost, because it's completely different from it's predecessors. It makes this whole movie seem pointless. I guess the other reason why I was never lost was because the story and plot are piss poor. There's barely anything. The characters are flat and I didn't really give a Crap about any of them. There's barely any dialogue, I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. Despite all of this, there's some fun to be had

The filmmakers obviously decided to just drop story and plot in favor of more vapid action. In that case they don't disappoint. The action scenes are nice and well staged. The movie has some style to spare and is sleek. There plenty of Gore to spare for you Gore hounds out there like me and hey, at least there's no shitty love story or sparkling vampires which is always a plus. The movie also feels like one giant videogame. It certainly plays out that way, like first Selena and the other vampires fight this pack of wolves then after the giant wolf comes out like your typical boss in a videogame. Whatever the case it was fun.

I'm not quite sure what to make of the acting since the actors don't have to say much. Kate Beckinsale is either angry or depressed throughout the movie. It looks like she almost had enough with this series and I don't blame her. The rest of the cast is just okay, nothing great, but nothing truly awful either.

Overall, this is what you'd pretty much expect from your typical January junk. There's no story or plot, minimal dialogue, and has nothing to do with the series as far as I can tell. However, it's sleek and stylish, there's Gore to go around, the action scenes are nicely done and entertaining and the acting is okay. Since I haven't seen any of the other films I can't say weather this is a good edition to the series, but from a moviegoers perspective who hasn't seen any of the prior installments this is junk. No story and all action. Based on the box office performance expect more of these.

Looking back, this past January has been very interesting as we had a mix of films. We've had great films like Haywire and The Grey. We've had your typical pieces of shits like The Devil Inside and One For The Money. Your typical January junk like Underworld. Mediocre films like Red tails and Joyful noise. So where does Contraband fit in all of this? Well it belongs in the better than your typical January junk but not as good as it should be category. This is better then the Crap that we're subjected to every January but that doesn't excuse it's problems.

For starters, nothing in this movie is original. Usually filmmakers will take something that's been done before and put their own fresh twists to it, that's not the case here. You've seen this all before and done better. Next is the plot, it's not that there's too little of it, there's too much of it and for what? If your going to make a movie that's been done a bunch of times before at least stick to the formula. Don't try to make it complex, it's not going to change the fact that this is unoriginal. Lastly, this film has an unappealing gritty look which was a bit of a turn off for me. It's not that I don't like it, it works well with other movies but it was unnecessary.

Despite some glaring problems, there's some fun to be had. The action scenes are fun, and there are moments of humor sprinkled throughout. Usually most of the humorous moments are a result of a character doing the most moronic thing possible. The pacing is a little off but it shouldn't bother people that much. The acting ranges from okay to pretty good. While Mark Wahlberg's performance isn't bad but, he just kind of goes through the motions. He has shown he can act but here he is kind of Idle. Kate Beckinsale is sadly underused, she's good but she doesn't have that important of a part. Giovanni Ribisi on the other hand is pretty good. He has fun chewing at his lines and just being a complete badass. He's probably the best thing about this movie.

Contraband is slightly better than your typical January junk that we're subjected to every year. However, it still can't come over the the fact that it's not original, the plot is unnecessarily complex, the pacing is a tad off, and that the overall look is unappealing. despite the action being fun and intense, it being funny, and pretty decent performances.

The trailers didn't leave that much of an impression on me, and based on the box office, the same can be said with pretty much everyone else. It wasn't until the flood of good reviews that my interest peaked and now I'm glad I saw it and got to experience it. For those who aren't sure, go see it! I hope this movie makes enough money to warrant a sequel because it deserves one.

I don't have anything negative to say about this movie other than Lena Headey's character was a little disappointing towards the end, she's set up to be this brutal, strong villain but then (POSSIBLE SPOILER SKIP TO NEXT PARAGRAPH) when confronted at the end she ends up being a coward and can't take on Dredd. True she wasn't that strong to take him on, but I expected there to at least be some sort of fight between them.

The other thing is that it's not entirely original...? That didn't bother me though, since this movie was so well done and felt like something fresh. To those who are saying this is a Raid Redemption rip-off clearly have no clue what they're talking about since this movie was in production way before, and as much as I loved The Raid, it wasn't exactly original or groundbreaking either.

Now onto the good things! As I mentioned it's not entirely original, we've seen the story and plot done a bunch of times but it's the way it's executed that makes it seem fresh again. I liked how well they illustrate what the city life is like: poor, filthy, and full of crime. It really made me even more invested in this world.

For a movie with a budget of around $45 million the effects are surprisingly well done. It could probably compete alongside some of the bigger budgeted films of the summer. The 3-D, unlike most of the movies that have come out in 3-D, is surprisingly well done. This is probably one of the best uses of 3-D this year so far alongside The Avengers, Prometheus, and yes Step up Revolution. I guess it's because like those movies, it was shot in 3-D. I only noticed mild blurriness, particularly during some of the action scenes but it wasn't discomforting to the eyes. Other than that the 3-D was good, it was mostly clear, wasn't murky, and there wasn't any low lighting that I noticed. It wasn't used as a gimmick like most 3-D is, the best are the slo-mo scenes in 3-D.

While I wouldn't call the characters three-dimensional(no pun intended) at least there was some characterization, which, I hate to say it The Raid lacked. I cared about these two judges, I was rooting for them the whole time and if you can manage to get me to do that, that's a big plus in my book. The actors all managed to play their characters well. Lena Headey was great with her over-the-top performance as the evil Ma-ma. Olivia Thirlby also stood out as playing the Psychic. I thought she did a great job with her transformation if you want to call it that. She seems nervous and a little scared in the beginning and it seems like she's definitely not cut out to be a Judge, the best example would be when she has to shoot someone and she can't find it in herself. Then she just turns into a complete bad ass, killing people like it's nothing and wanting to get out at no cost. I also liked how she wasn't a damsel in distress when she gets taken, she shows that she is capable of handling herself. I was afraid the movie was going to veer into that cliched path but luckily it didn't and I was pleasantly surprised by that. I was also pleasantly surprised by Karl Urban. I was skeptic of him because he does not strike me as an action/superhero-like person but he proved me wrong sort of like how Ryan Gosling proved me wrong last year with Drive. It's nice to see this happen once in a while and Karl Urban shows that he has no problem playing the role. I personally can't see anyone else playing this character but him now. He is one bad ass.

This movie is definitely not for the squeamish as I found myself once in a while squirming around in my seat. The action scenes are well-shot, there's no obnoxious shaky-cam that'll give you a headache afterwards. The pulse-pounding score elevates the action and tension. It's sad that scores like these get unnoticed by the academy.

Overall, this is one of the biggest surprises to me of 2012 so far. I didn't think I'd enjoy as much as I did. Sure it's not original but who cares when it's done as well as this. The Ma-Ma(Lena Headey) thing was disappointing but not so much that it completely ruined my enjoyment of the film because everything else was fantastic. The characters, the special effects, the score, the acting, and the well-shot action scenes all elevate the proceedings dramatically. This is such a great and fun movie that it should appeal to people outside of the action-junky demographic.